Dale’s Movie Theater Nightmare and Silly Oscars Stuff

From the British movie rating system to grilling bacon and playing electronic guitars, Dale Smurthwaite at Smurfin’ the Web enjoys life’s simplest pleasures by not wasting time and space.

I welcomed this asset of my Mighty Minion Bureau to let us in on some tidbits that we may not know about him. So today, here he is, giving it to us straight – including ways to shorten the Oscars, an unexpected effect of male menopause and how he rocks out to Symphony X.

Madlab Post: What’s the deal with you and Smurfs?

Dale at Smurfin’ the Web: Haha. Well Basically I've had that (nickname) since I was a kid. My surname is "Smurthwaite" and people always mispronounce it as "Smurfwaite," hence the nickname Smurf. It’s stuck since I was knee high and so it will continue =)

If you were in charge of the Oscars, what would you do to shorten the event and keeping television viewers from turning the channel or falling asleep?

Well, with an average time of 3½ hours, there isn’t much difference between this and the Super Bowl. Viewing figures have been up for the last 4 years. I don’t actually get to watch the awards themselves due to the time differences, but I suppose if I were to try and cut the time, I would miss out some of the silly stuff like selfies and pizza deliveries. How much time did that actually waste? I think an opening number and then just get on with it. The BAFTAS are much shorter, with not too many less categories.

What happened to your CD and DVD collection?

I only have a handful of CDs and DVDs nowadays. I now have everything digital, apart from the few CDs and DVDs that I just could not sell, such as the entire “Farscape” collection on DVD and the “Lord of the Rings” extended DVDs. I had to face the reality that physical copies were just so space consuming and eventually had to go.

What is the worst movie theater experience you ever had?

Probably when I went to see “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.” The reels were played out of order. That -- on top of the fact that the film itself was absolute garbage, it wasn't a good day.

Photo by John Lennard aka yakmooseCan you share any tips on how to make the perfect Bacon butty?

Lovely, I do like a good one. Right, grill your bacon until it is just turning crispy; not too crispy though -- I don't want it breaking off in shards. Butter your bread and insert the bacon. Spread some ketchup on there -- a nice even spread, not too much and top off with some thin slices of cheddar cheese and simply enjoy.

How many guitars do you own?

I only own 1 guitar; a lovely Ibanez EDR which is made of Lucite rather than wood. I would guess that this is my favourite one as it’s the only one I own ;-)

What artists/songs are on your playlist right now?

I have an 8GB iPod Nano. I use it for the car only and my current playlist consists of around 400 songs, including everything from Michael Jackson - Bryan Adams, Escala - Symphony X and 80s cheese - Dio. Theres also some Eurovision stuff on there as well. The contest is in 2 months; look out for my blog series.

What are your thoughts about the British movie rating system?

If we are talking about film age certificates -- I think the whole system is wrong, or maybe I just got old and out of touch. I don’t agree that copious amounts of swearing are allowed in PG13 movies. When I was a kid, you had "U", "PG" "15" and "18".

How has fatherhood impacted your life, views and/or experiences?

Fatherhood is the best thing that has happened to me. As someone who never really wanted kids, to now have 2 is great. Yes, there are bad times with naughtiness, etc., but on the whole, my eldest Xander is a great boy with a very vivid imagination and like his parents, a love for movies and not just the kids Disney stuff -- he appreciates great work like “The Lord of the Rings”, “Labyrinth” and “Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan.”

Personally, I think I cry at more films and television now more than ever now that I have children. Maybe it’s the male menopause, but I watched “Saving Mr. Banks” and was blubbing. Bring on April! 

If you haven't done so already, be sure to check out Dale's cinematic Theme for April and while you're at it, go visit wife Lady Kell who is doing the A-to-Z Challenge with a super specialized theme about one of the best Sci-Fi television shows ever made, at Kincavel Korner!

Monday Movie Meme - The Big Impact!

The theme for this week's Monday Movie Meme is based on one of the questions from a blog fest hosted by Nostra at My Film Views and Karamel Kinema, in an attempt to expand upon it a bit: Life, Love and the Movies.

Share on your blog or in the comments section, movies that had a big impact on your life.

This can include movies that changed a small part of your view on life, films that you will forever cherish for their depiction of life as you see it, or films that moved you in some way, shape or form.

Here are my selections for this week's Life, Love and the Movies meme. They include films that were not mentioned when I did my post for Nostra's blog fest.

Booker's Place: A Mississipi Place

I'm glad to have been able to watch this documentary because it reminded me that settling for mediocrity is not an option. The importance of unity and putting your best foot forward, even when people are trying to bring you down continues to be all the more present in my mind, after watching it.

The movie also makes me even more aware of the fact that your enemies, whoever they may be, don't always come at you directly -- many are clever and use folks from your own community, circle of friends, workplace or family, to destroy you, which kinda reminds me of the movies "Malcolm X" directed by Spike Lee and "Panther" directed by Mario Van Peebles.

Street Paper

This documentary about a group of homeless men and women who are working as newspaper vendors was an enlightening movie to watch for many reasons -- two of them being that we are best to not take things for granted. Also, you can always pick yourself up and make your way out of an undesirable circumstance; sheer will and determination allow you to make your tomorrows better than today.

Walk the Line

I hold a special for this biographical musical drama about Johnny Cash, because it tells a great story of redemption. 

These are the few that come to mind at the moment.

What movies had a big impact on YOUR life?

Why Make Movies? An A-to-Z Challenge Theme Reveal

Chris Chambers in Steve Balderson's action crime comedy "Culture Shock."When was the last time you stayed at a job, in a relationship or pursuit of a goal that cost you more than what you earned from doing it?

How many times have you said to yourself “maybe tomorrow things will improve” only to wonder what happened along the way? No one in their right mind would continue in an undesirable situation or on an unforgiving path, yet, I find myself wondering what I’m doing making movies.

Let it be clear that when I say movies and/or film, I’m referring to independent films. This is not to discount or deny the many difficulties that take place on studio-backed movies in Hollywood. Martin Sheen collapsed from a heart attack during the production of Francis Ford Coppola’s “Apocalypse Now” -- in a tumultuous turn of events that also included Coppola suffering an epileptic seizure; the untimely deaths of Paul Walker and Philip Seymour Hoffman have the forces in tinsel town scrambling to salvage the next installments in the “Fast and Furious” and “Hunger Games” franchises. If it’s hard for the big-wigs, then it’s ten times more difficult for those of us who are trying to make our own way outside of the “system.”

Independent films take so long, require a seemingly never-ending stream of sacrifices and we (filmmakers) have to overcome obstacle after obstacle without ever knowing if we’ll achieve our goals. Maggie Hadleigh-West and her camera crew were robbed at gunpoint during their first day of production on a documentary. Audiences in Washington D.C. got up out of their seats, yelled expletives, threw things at the screen and then walked out of the theater during a showing of Steve Balderson's comedy drama “Watch Out.” I haven’t begun to even scratch the surface in terms of creating a body of work where motion pictures are concerned. Based on the difficulties that I’ve had to deal with so far, however, I’m wondering – what’s it all really worth?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt on the set of his directorial debut 'Don Jon.'I often find myself questioning whether or not I want to do this again. So, during April, I will be sharing my observations on the 26 (or less) reasons why writers, directors and/or producers make movies. In these posts, I also aim to include the perspectives of fine, visual and performance artists at various stages in their careers. It is by exploring such observations on filmmaking from A-Z that I hope you will walk away with at least one -- if not two things:

• Knowledge of a new or little known movie, album, book or related work that you want to check out

• Inspiration to apply aspects of the subject matter to an area of your own life and/or goals

For me, I’m just trying to figure out how to justify or make sense of the ongoing stumbling blocks, rejections, isolation and closed doors that I face at every step of the way in my projects. Maybe it’s the universe telling me that I need to do something else. Maybe it’s a challenge that is meant to aid in my growth and prepare me for the next steps. Maybe I’m just looking at it all wrong or neglecting things that I should be paying more attention to. Maybe I have different goals than when I started pursuing film.

Or maybe, just maybe I don’t know what I want. No matter the case, I do know one thing – the need to figure out a justification for this masochistic path called moviemaking is urgent like a motherfucker.

When (and even before) a film is in the can, it seems like nobody even cares. Filmmakers have to constantly be on-the-go, trying like hell to convince people to watch our work, while all along hoping that they end up liking it or some aspect therein. It reminds me of the Linkin Park song – “I tried so hard and got so far but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.”

We bust our butts to make these movies and then in the end, it doesn’t matter because it seems like no one wants to be bothered watching them or buying them or renting them.

If people don’t want to be bothered checking out independent films, and crews are reluctant to work on them, and actors don’t want to help make these projects be all they can be, and media/industry/communities won't cover our work and theaters/TV channels aren't interested in paying these projects any mind, then why should we even bother making them? This is the question that leads to the central focus of my 2014 Blogging from A-to-Z Challenge theme. So find yourself a good seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy the show!

Also, you might want to keep the kids away because the upcoming posts are approved for audiences age 17 or older. There will not be blood but there will likely be strong language. Reader discretion is advised. I approved this message. 

Photos ('Culture Shock' and 'Don Jon,' respectively) courtesy of Anthony Pedone and Daniel McFadden ©2013 Relativity Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.