I Am a Sex Addict - Getting Dirty with Caveh Zahedi

Fresh off of planning a post about Glozell (Jay Leno's #1 Fan), I skipped that for a moment to reflect on I Am a Sex Addict by Caveh Zahedi. If you're into independent films, then this movie should be familiar. Those who only follow Hollywood movies and only pay attention to independent films when they reach Slumdog Millionaire status need not worry. I will catch you up to speed by summing up this movie in a few words. I Am a Sex Addict is an autobiographical film from Caveh Zahedi with a mixture of comedy and LOTS of drama.

Who wants to watch a movie about some guy's sex addiction? I was familiar with the movie from reading independent film magazines, blogs and keeping up with general business in the film community. Still, I was not interested in watching I Am a Sex Addict until it was recommended by Chris Gore during an episode of LAGtv. I like Chris Gore's books and Film Threat magazine, so I decided to check out I Am a Sex Addict after all. Here is a review on one aspect of the film that I found to be quite interesting.....

The Description for I Am a Sex Addict Reads:
In the moments before his third marriage, Caveh Zahedi looks into the camera and flashes back to a vividly disturbing yet poignant story of his long obsession with prostitutes and how that obsession has served to destroy his previous marriages and relationships. Can Caveh overcome his addiction and finally succeed in a relationship?

I have to commend Caveh Zahedi for being so bold as to put himself (and his sex addiction) out there for the world to see. The first ten minutes or so seemed very confusing so I was going to turn it off, not willing to watch someone tell a story and then go back numerous times like "Let me start off this way.....actually, this happened before so and so did this....no, let me go back and start over and tell you something else". That shit gets very annoying and thank goodness, Caveh Zahedi moved on with the movie after a short period of time. I Am a Sex Addict covers his emotionally draining relationships with beautiful women (and some not-so-beautiful women) who still cannot seem to make him curb this prostitute fetish that starts to develop and get out of hand.

I Am a Sex Addict grossed me out for a number of reasons. It was perverted and not entirely because of the meeting with prostitutes or unappealing sex scenes with his girlfriends. It was the combination of blow job squealing, masturbation and calmness that Caveh Zahedi showed during all of the regular scenes. He talks softly and is a calm person but the mixture of sex scenes and fetishes made me think about the perverts that roam our streets everyday. It's like something straight out of a Law & Order: SVU or CSI episode when the detectives catch those guys who stalked or raped women. The suspects are usually these quiet, nerdy guys who are so loving, sweet and sincere. Yucky!

In his I Am a Sex Addict performance, Caveh Zahedi had a kind of "pervert look" that turned me off from wanting to watch this movie. Say or think what you want but a lot (many, but not all) of perverts DO have a look, just like ghetto people have a look, just like some pedophiles have a look....especially when you get them into a room and start talking to them about their perverted interests or observing their perverted behaviors.

Anyway, I found a somewhat minimalist aspect to I Am a Sex Addict that can be greatly appreciated and had nothing to really do with the story directly. My appreciation for this movie had everything to do with his technical and aesthetic decisions while making I Am a Sex Addict.

While it had lots of sex in the movie, Caveh Zahedi managed to depict intercourse and blow jobs in a manner that did not make me want to stop watching this film. That was not the case with Kissing on The Mouth, a movie by Joe Swanberg that I watched about two weeks ago. Both films are about sex, yet Kissing on The Mouth has full-frontal scenes for both male and female characters. The sex scenes in Kissing on the Mouth are so explicit that they made me turn away quite a few times while watching this movie. It blurred the line between porn and art.

I'm not even sure if there was a line between the two at all during Kissing on the Mouth or if these categories (porn and art) were just combined to show this particular aspect of young adult relationships. Either way, Kissing on the Mouth is definitely not suitable for the prudish. You have to be very open to watch this kind of movie. On the contrary, I Am a Sex Addict showed convincing performances that were not pornographic in nature. I would expect Caveh Zahedi's movie to have more explicit content, given the nature of his story. If any movie was going to have explicit porn-like sex scenes, it was going to be I Am a Sex Addict, right? Wrong (and I am very glad)!

The performances by actors in the film and Caveh Zahedi himself were believable and kept my attention with a modest amount of flesh. The lack of flesh was interesting because I Am a Sex Addict had way more sex scenes, adult language and sexual activities than Kissing on the Mouth. After watching these two films that were about sex in one way or another, I was even more convinced that we can tell stories about sex, sexuality or relationships without the need to convey these stories using excessive pornographic images.

I Am a Sex Addict is not a movie that I would want to watch again unless there was a scene that needed to be used as a reference or comparison to other independent film projects. However, I would recommend it for movie fans who want to check out something that is a little risque without being over-the-top.

Have you seen I Am a Sex Addict or Kissing on the Mouth? Did you like them? Leave your comments below!!!

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Comments

[Juhani]

The idea is to discuss the most important cornerstones, such as images, pornography, and masturbation. Through them we will try to study what this addiction – in which so many can be tied up, even suffer from it – is like, and what is the life like of a such person who fills his or her time with these things, thinks about them, and is directed by them. There is also a spiritual viewpoint to the same issue.

Imagination and daydreams are very ordinary for most people. It is certainly true that almost everyone has them, but a person addicted to sex is different in that they are in a main part in his or her life. It means that there will be fantasies and images connected to sex all the time, either old experiences or plans for the future. Sex addicts can think and dream about sex with persons they have met, with porn magazine lovers, or to look at films, which will lead to the same. They do not always even need pornographic material, but they can form these images in quite ordinary situations, in which other people do not see anything provocative. Very minor issues can spike their imagination, often leading to masturbation. In addition, the sexual interest of some people can be directed only at certain parts of the body, such as breasts and legs, and these people especially dream of touching these parts. There are many variations.

Pornography, which is especially the problem of men, is the second main factor in the life of a sex addict. This can mean porn magazines, films or material on the Internet that is used to seek for satisfaction.

One problem with pornography is that it does not bring long-lasting satisfaction to us. These magazines or films kind of promise that you will find the erotic picture you have always been looking and longing for, but the satisfaction does not last for long. As time goes by, many may experience the same as alcoholics and drug addicts: they need more and more powerful stimulus to experience the same stimulation as before, because the amount of pleasure diminishes.

Also the man in the story before told how he got old magazines in order to get the same experiences as he had when he was younger. This proves how we can get used to things, and thus they will no longer feel the same. Instead, the tolerance and addiction can grow and grow, but we will feel more empty all the time. This happens with almost everything that we experience daily: we do not feel the same as before. Therefore, the sex of older people who have practiced it for decades, is usually not as passionate as when they were younger.

More info: http://koti.phnet.fi/elohim/sexaddiction